Longer Days & Stronger Rays

Dear Friends & Family,

When the kids were young I attended a parenting seminar. I remember the instructor asking us “What does your child see and hear when you wake them up in the morning or when you pick them up from school?” Do you wake them up with a frazzled “Let’s go, we’re late”, do you pick them up from school while talking on the phone or with a “Hurry up, we have to get you to practice?” 

I didn’t need that seminar, all I needed was to follow Curt’s example. When he wakes the children (when he was healthy), he would crawl in bed with them and slowly let them come to life. When he picks them up from school or practices he would never be in a rush to the next place, he always paused to see how their day was. He had time to throw the football around or volley the volleyball. He always made conversation with the coaches or other parents. When the kids were young he would bathe them and talk and play while they were in the tub. At bedtime as I read to the kids Curt would almost always join us. The kids knew (and still know) their Daddy loved them by not only his words but also his actions. He is the perfect example of a man “living in the moment.”

Up until he was no longer able, he would walk or wheel out to say goodbye when I left for work and would greet me at the car when I got home. His eyes were always lit up! I knew without a doubt that I was the love of his life! 

Tomorrow is the first day of summer. Normally our family looks forward to the long days and warm nights; carefree and homework free time to just hang out as a family. This summer is not the same. There is a heaviness. Life is a bit dull and mundane, the weekdays run into the weekends with life revolving around Curt’s needs and limitations. We can’t talk about the future because we don’t have one, the present is pretty uneventful and the past is too painful at this point to relive. So here we are in the right now. Unable to travel, plan or even carry on a conversation. What’s the point of our lives right now? I ask myself that almost everyday. We are thankful that he is still here, even in this capacity. Curt loves the sun and we are happy that he can enjoy the hot summer days and the stronger rays that warm his body, tan his skin, and make his smile all the much brighter.

Cindy, Curt, Clarissa, Cayden & Corbin

Clarissa, Alan, Corey, Kevin, Mom, Cayden, Dad & Corbin enjoyed another great weekend
at my parents Lake Nacimiento house!
Thanks Dad & Mom for being responsible for all the kids and giving them an outlet for fun!

Clarissa broke her hand while off-roading at the Lake.
Her first broken bone!

Happy Father's Day to the best Dad ever!

1 comment:

Christina Buck said...

You and children do have a future - one that cannot be understood right now. It will be without your husband and without their father, but it is there. It is unimaginable at this time because it is unbearable to imagine at this time.

When I first got sick (I have Primary Lateral Sclerosis) I thought my life was over, I cannot live with this. That was 5 years ago. My life isn't want I want it to be and it's difficult and I miss what my life was prior to this every day. I have a future though. I have no idea what it will be like as my illness progresses but it is there.

Now is not the time for you and your children to think about the future. The present is the only place for you right now. The future will be addressed later.

Thinking about you and your family often.