Sometimes....

Dear Friends & Family,

Sometimes I feel like a victim. A victim of this disease, a victim of this universe. I feel the world spinning around me and do not feel a part of it. I watch as families take vacations, as people play at the beach, as commuters go back and forth to work, as people all around me talk and make plans. I hear it, I see it and I do not feel a part of it. Sometimes peoples’ stories of a bad day, troubles with friends or problems at their jobs, seem so simple to me. I feel I have another level to my soul that no one can reach or understand. I asked Curt if he felt the same way and he said “yes”.

Sometimes I feel life is too hard on us right now. Are we not dealing with enough? Corbin breaks his hand, Clarissa breaks her hand, Cayden’s truck gets broken into; causing doctor visits, long waits, talking with detectives, these are all things that take away from our family time and zap my (our) energy.

We are just living day to day. We can’t plan for the future, we can’t go anywhere, we can barely communicate with each other. Curt is uncomfortable and frustrated. It is hard to watch him suffer. It is hard to watch his health decline day by day. It is physically hard to care for him. It is emotionally hard to try to live life as normal and be energetic and positive. It is hard to watch the kids’ hearts being torn apart. I feel all the time that my heart is heavy and breaking, for them, for Curt, for me and for all that know him.

Thank you for all the texts to Curt! He has really enjoyed hearing from so many people. If you would like to brighten his day, send a text to him at (310) 994-7747.

Love,
Cindy, Curt, Clarissa, Cayden & Corbin