The Fortune Cookie
Dear Family & Friends,
We stood in the kitchen, Beverly (Curt's sister), her son Jonathon and Barbara (Curt's mom), opening our fortune cookies one at a time. It was about 10:00 pm, Curt would be returning home with the boys from the Monster Truck Races at any minute. Beverly, Barbara & Jonathon needed to be gone before they got home.
Earlier that afternoon, I had pulled out Curt's boxes of childhood photos and memorabilia with the intent to organize it all and start a scrapbook of his childhood memories. My plan was to work on it all afternoon and evening while he was gone with the boys. As I was unpacking I realized this was going to be a really big job, too much to handle alone. I felt overwhelmed and didn't know where to begin. I called Beverly and Barbara and they raced right over to help. We worked for hours and hours, sorting through photos, award certificates, artwork and school projects. We spent time reading his work, sharing what we each found, laughing at silly photos and crying a little. We had chinese food delivered for dinner so we could continue working into the evening. The hour came when Curt was to return so we quickly cleaned up, packed everything away, and left no trace of our endeavors.
On their way out we realized we had not eaten our fortune cookies. We each opened our cookies one by one. I was last. I broke open my cookie and read my fortune, "He who has hope, has everything." I immediately began crying uncontrollably.
You see, hope is one of my biggest struggles. One minute I have so much hope, there are possible treatments in Mexico, Curt is having a good day physically, or we hear of someone who had had ALS for 10 years, this gives me hope and strength. The next minute, Curt trips or stumbles, I feel his muscles twitch as I rest my arm next to his, or someone speaks of something off in the future, then I lose all hope. Hope is not something I can dwell on. I have to spend my time living each moment, not hoping for something that is out of my control.
After crying in Beverly's arms for awhile, I realized "hope" is just another word. Whether I have hope or not will not change the situation we are in. More important than hope is love. We definitely have that......every minute of every day. Love never fails, love never changes, love never waivers. Our family has love and no one or nothing on this earth can take that away!
Cindy, Curt, Clarissa, Cayden & Corbin